


This, and My Heart, and All The Fields

by Nisaki



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Knight Jensen, M/M, Prince Jared - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-30 00:46:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17213957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nisaki/pseuds/Nisaki
Summary: Jensen is assigned to escort Prince Jared to his friend's wedding in another kingdom. He doesn't expect himself to be in the middle of a conspiracy, neither does he anticipate falling in love with the prince.





	This, and My Heart, and All The Fields

**Author's Note:**

  * For [non_tiembo_mala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/non_tiembo_mala/gifts).



> To my giftee I hope you like this, I tried to put as much of your likes into it as I could, and I also took one of your prompts. I'm sorry it's late, but the story had a mind of its own and got longer than I expected.  
> This story is inspired by a [gorgeous gift set on tumblr](http://wellcometothedarkside.tumblr.com/post/181526555951/wellcometothedarkside-j2-medievalau-jensen) made by the ever talented Aeren. Thank you for allowing me to use your work as an inspiration.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta the amazing [Soy-em](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soy_em/pseuds/soy_em) who I dumped this one last minute. I also have to say I pulled this shit TWICE this WEEK and she didn't complain and was very supportive. I love you, Em. 
> 
> Thanks to the mods for holding this challenge, and to my group of writers who led me through this, and of course the wonderful [Laughablelament ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughableLament/pseuds/LaughableLament)I owe all my writing <3
> 
> The title is from a poem by Emily Dickinson

It was always chaotic when the king held a tournament.

People came from everywhere, nobles and commoners alike, ready to witness the battles or participate themselves. Jensen's name was on the board, announced as the knight to open the tournament. It was customary for last year’s winner to be the first to duel.

Jensen's eyes traveled along the crowds as his manservant put his armor on him. His audience mostly consisted of unattached maidens looking to get engaged. Another purpose for these tournaments, he mused. In truth, he had no interest in battling and the risk of injury for reasons as petty as proving one's strength. Jensen knew his strength, he needed no contest to prove his competence, but as the king's knight he was obliged to battle in his name. 

King Jeffrey was seated on the finer benches, higher than the crowds, handsome face set in a neutral expression, piercing gaze settled on the field. His crown reflected the light as he turned around, a rare smile lifting his lips as the youngest prince approached him. Prince Jared was the last heir to the throne after two siblings and despite the fact that he was eighteen summers, a man by all standards, this was the first time that Jensen had seen him attending a tournament.

The young prince took his seat by the king's right. His oldest brother, Prince Gilbert, sat himself on the king's other side with Prince Edward next to him. Jensen had seen them both and had the honour of conversing with them, but he'd never met Prince Jared in person. He told himself that was the reason he kept staring at the youngest prince, and not the fact that Prince Jared was devastatingly beautiful.  He bore no resemblance to his father, the lines of his face delicate and smooth, his cheeks filled by the ever present smile on his wide pink lips. A set of deep dimples sat on each of them, adding an allure to the already radiant man. His lanceolate eyes were shaded by long, thick lashes, and covered by his wayward locks. He kept his hair shorter than both his brothers', just curving alongside his sharp cut jaw, light brown and floppy, the sun rays drawing a crown of light around his head. Jensen had heard stories about fairies and angels, and he was only now inclined to believe that their blessing existed for nothing short of magic or a godly gift would create something as breathtaking as the young prince. 

They announced his name and he took the sword from the squire and thanked him, squared his shoulders and stepped into the field. The king nodded for him and Jensen bowed deeply before he faced his opponent. 

The first match went on in a blur of sweat and clacking iron and tensing muscles. It ended with Jensen holding his sword to the other knight's neck. The audience stood and cheered and the king gave him a satisfied nod.

Jensen's eyes caught Prince Jared's. The prince was staring at him with wide eyes, admiration and awe unmasked, making Jensen puff his chest out in pride. Jared turned to his father and whispered something, from the look on the king's face he approved of whatever it was.

He moved away and someone came to take his sword, another to help him out of his armor, Jensen felt restless and distracted.

The next day, King Jeffrey ordered him to withdraw.

***

''Lift your arms higher when you hit,'' Jensen instructed, voice loud and firm. The new soldiers he was assigned to train showed promise, but he wasn't about to take it easy on them. The man followed his order, throwing more force into his attacks, their swords clashing with a resonating clank, their faces coming closer as they pushed against each other. Jensen smirked, extending his leg to hit behind the man's shin and the latter fell to the ground, surprise clear on his face as he stared at the peak of Jensen's sword.

''Don't forget that in a battle, there are no rules. All attacks are fair.'' Jensen sheathed his sword and extended a hand, helping the man back to his feet.

''Sir Jensen.''

Jensen whipped around and bowed, clamping his hands behind his back when he straightened.

''Your Majesty.''

The king stood in the training area in all his glory, thick fur thrown over his shoulders and servants and soldiers surrounding him as he approached Jensen. A small smile on his face indicated that he was in a good mood, and Jensen relaxed a bit.

''You must be wondering why I asked you to withdraw from the tournament.'' King Jeffery started ''It's a shame that we won't see you fight, but there's a mission that I can't entrust to anyone but you.''

''I am at your command, Your Majesty.''

King Jeffery stepped closer and patted him on the shoulder. He turned his head to the side and called one of the servants, whispering to him before he faced Jensen again.

''You've always been more of a friend to me than anyone else, and I trust you with my life.''

''It's an honour, my king.''

The sound of slow steps came closer and Jensen's eyes moved in their direction, breath stopping in his chest as he caught sight of the young prince walking towards them. He was taller than Jensen had thought, just an inch or so shorter than Jensen, and he was skinnier than any wealthy man should be. His smile was timid, barely showing dimples, and his hair was in his eyes again. Dressed in a fancy tunic that reached to his mid thighs, his impossibly narrow waist was wrapped in a belt adorned with jewels and his leather pants clung to his legs in a way that made Jensen think of being executed. He looked back at the king, question dying on his tongue.

''You're to escort Jared to Ochar to attend Princess Sandra's wedding.''

Jensen wanted to argue. He had a lot of duties in the capital, duties that no one but him could tend to. His new soldiers weren't ready and he couldn't depend on someone else to train them for him. Any of the king's personal guards could accompany the prince; Prince Jared after all had a group of trained soldiers following him on the rare occasions he was allowed to venture out of the castle. Despite all his sound reason, Jensen only bowed.

''As you wish, Your Majesty. I shall prepare to leave at once.''

''Excellent!'' 

With that, the king left.

Prince Jared lingered behind, waiting until all else were gone before he walked closer to Jensen, his smile shy.

''Sir Jensen, I'm glad you agreed to join me in my journey.'' He said it like Jensen had a choice, like he didn't know no one could refuse him or his father anything.

''It's my pleasure, Your Highness.''

Jared straightened his posture, his smile more sure. ''When can we leave?''

''It depends, Your Highness. When is the wedding, and how many men are we taking with us?''

''It's in a bit over a month. My father said we should take about forty men, but I'll let you decide that.''

Jensen was very proud of his self control, otherwise he would've choked on his spit.

''Your Highness, the more men we take the longer the journey will be. We need only a few; if we leave in secret we have no reason to fear for your life.''

''Do what you must,'' the prince answered, seemingly trusting Jensen's judgement.

''Can I see the horse you’re riding for this journey?'' Jensen asked.

The prince's face turned red and he shook his head, brown locks falling over his eyes again. ''I don't...I can't ride.''

''I beg your pardon, Your Highness?''

The prince cleared his throat, louder he repeated, ''I'm unable to ride a horse.''

Jensen had heard of how sheltered the youngest prince was. After his mother died, King Jeffery all but locked him up. He was the only one of his siblings to never leave the castle, who didn't know how to hold a sword or shoot an arrow.

Riding a horse however, was a basic knowledge and a very important skill. All men, even servants were taught to ride

Considering how to answer for a long time, Jensen finally settled on something he thought not disrespectful. ''Travelling by carriage will take longer.''

Prince Jared chewed on his bottom lip, eyes getting deeper. The action turned Jensen's stomach into a big stone in his middle, and his chest tightened. He shouldn't be noticing this, but the prince's lips were shiny with spit, his pearly teeth worrying them red and Jensen wanted to do it himself. Wanted a taste.

''I could teach you,'' he said, surprising both of them. Unfortunately for him he couldn't take back his offer, and Prince Jared was already smiling and agreeing.

Jensen's tongue was his own worst enemy.

Jensen guided the prince back to the stables where Prince Jared took his time choosing a horse to ride. He finally settled on a white mare; she was strong and beautiful and Jensen approved of the choice. Jensen was of the belief that a man must always take care of his horse himself no matter his rank, so the first step was to teach the prince how to put on the saddle and secure it in place.

The prince was an eager student. He gave all his focus to the task, mimicking Jensen's movements carefully. Once he finished saddling the horse, the prince let out a whoop, jumping and clapping. There was innocence in the way he found joy in something like this, and Jensen couldn't help the fluttering of his heart at the sight of him flipping his hair back and grinning at Jensen, like he was waiting for praise.

''That's very good.''

The prince's answering smile was brighter than any sunrise Jensen had witnessed, and Jensen knew that if he didn't look away now, he would stare at him until he went blind.

They walked side by side, guiding their horses along with them. Jensen made them stop when they reached an open field.

''Climb up.''

It took some time, but eventually the prince settled on the back of his mare, his back straight and his hands clutching at the reins like a lifeline. His face paled, and Jensen didn't miss the bobbing of his Adam's apple as he swallowed nervously.

''You're doing well, Your Highness. Don't be scared.''

''I'm not!'' Prince Jared answered indignantly.

''Alright. Now, to start moving forward, just give her a gentle kick to the side.''

No sooner the words left Jensen's mouth Jared's foot kicked back; stronger than it should. The mare arched, letting out a loud neigh and kicked its front legs. Jared panicked and his grip on the reins slipped.

Jensen moved fast, catching the prince before he hit the ground. He almost fell under the weight, but years of training served him well and he widened his stance and held Jared closer, afraid he would drop him.

''Your Highness, are you alright?''

Jared was pale as death as he stared up at Jensen, his lips moving without letting any sound out.

''What in the name of God is happening here!'' the king's voice boomed.

Jensen turned to face him, belatedly realizing that he was still carrying Jared in his arms. He put him down immediately and went to bow as the king marched towards him. The king's hands fisted in the front of his tunic and he yanked Jensen close, his eyes burned with rage, teeth gritted. Something akin to a growl rambled in his chest.

Jensen wasn't easy to scare, but in that moment he was terrified. He had never, in all the twelve years he knew King Jeffrey, seen him this furious.

''I ordered you to protect him!'' he roared. Jensen flinched.

''I was merely trying to-''

''Don't talk back to me! Do you realize the danger you've put him in?''

''Your Majes-''

''I said shut up.''

''Father, please.''

It was Jared's voice, sweet and pleading ''It was I who ordered him to teach me. He had no choice but to obey.''

King Jeffery let go to turn his boiling rage on his son, he pointed his finger and hissed:

''How can you be so careless? I forbade you to ride horses!''

Jared hung his head down. ''I'm sorry,''

''And you, you are not to obey him. You listen only to me.''

''As you command, Your Majesty.''

''Jensen, I swear on my wife's grave,'' there was a heavy promise in the words, ''I will cut off your head if he gets hurt.''

Jensen bowed and said nothing, kept his head down. He watched the king's feet getting near Jared, saw how King Jeffrey's fingers wrapped around Jared's arm and pulled, forcing him to follow back to the castle.

There was no reason for the king to show up near the stables unannounced and with no guards. He must've come for something. He came because he _ knew _ what was happening. Jensen's teeth ached with how hard he clenched his jaw, and his nails dug into his palms.

Someone told the king about this, someone who knew Jared wasn’t allowed to ride. Which left Jensen with two ideas, either the king had Jared followed, or someone took it upon themselves to tattle on Jared.

Jared.

_ Jared _ .

Jensen took in a shaky breath.  _ Prince _ .  _ Prince _ Jared. Even in the privacy of his own thoughts, Jensen mustn't dare address the prince so informally.

Prince Jared.

He opened his mouth, ready to mutter the words under his breath. They got caught in his throat, he couldn't give them sound.

***

It took two days to prepare for their departure. The king ordered twenty men to accompany them, Jared was to travel in a carriage. His luggage was carried in wagon.

There were so many things that he needed, Jensen scoffed at it. A portable bed, a huge barrel for him to bathe in, cauldrons, furs and blankets and rugs and too many articles of clothes. Two maids and a manservant were assigned the task of catering to the prince during their time on the road. All the men were armed like they were headed to a war.

It was all ridiculous and stupid. They attracted too much attention, moved too slow. With all their unnecessary burdens the journey across the land would take twice as long as it would've if they'd traveled with less men and luxury. The young prince was too pampered for that, however, and Jensen was forced to accommodate him.

Summer meant easier travel; the weather showed no sign of getting rainy and for that Jensen was thankful. They needed every advantage they could get.

They traveled until the sun sank near the horizon every day, and it took them until the moon rose to set camp. Jared's tent was the biggest, an obvious target to anyone who wanted to harm him, making Jensen's life more difficult than it had to be. Jared himself was another matter entirely.

The delay Jensen could endure, overworking his soldiers to set a dispensable camp he could grit his teeth and work with them. But lord in heaven was Jensen fed up with the spoiled brat.

Jared didn't want the same food for dinner. Jared wanted to bathe every two days. Jared wanted to take walks and rest. Jared wanted to stop and look at the beautiful scenery. Jared complained about not being able to read in the carriage which made him bored and he disliked being bored so they had to put a different person with him every day to tell him stories and keep him entertained.

Jared also liked to follow Jensen around and ask about everything under the sun.

Jensen was not in the least bit happy about it. If Jared weren't the king's most loved son, Jensen was so sure he would've driven his sword through the young prince and been done with it. As it was, he wasn't certain if all this pain was worth it. Maybe he should just let the king execute him. 

It was a clear night. The camp was all set and the soldiers were ready to retire. Jensen assigned himself the first watch. Their tents were set so they surrounded Jared's, arranged in a semi circle. Jensen’s tent was set away from the rest and he kept his things packed when he took watch, just in case.  In front of them, they started a fire where they had gathered to dine. Jensen sat on a hollow tree trunk that his men brought to use as a bench and busied himself with tending the fire, adding pieces of wood every time the flame weakened. The heat was too much for a summer night, and the fire while a big giveaway to their location but it kept the beasts of the forest away. Jensen couldn't extinguish it.

The breeze rattled through the leaves and swept over to him, caressing Jensen's skin. It was cool and soothing, just what he needed to relax. Despite their trip being easier than he was used to, Jensen felt exhausted. He was fine physically, but being responsible for Jared's safety was weighing on him. It didn't help that he couldn't stop referring to the young price by his first name in his head. It was dangerous, he could slip and get himself into a big trouble but no matter how hard he tried, the words Prince Jared were too heavy even when he wasn't uttering them. 

He heard the sound of shuffling then steps and he closed his eyes, recognizing Jared without having to look back. 

"May I join you?" The damn thing was, Jared sounded sincere, like he was ready to accept whatever answer Jensen had. 

"You may do as you please, Your Highness." 

"That's not what I asked." 

"I'd be honored to be in your company, Your Highness." 

Jared huffed in annoyance and dropped himself on the trunk close to Jensen.  For a while there was nothing between them but the silence and Jensen listened to the sounds of the night mixed with Jared's breathing. Allowed himself to steal glances. 

Lit by the fire Jared looked unreal. He seemed so unattainable Jensen was almost convinced that despite the heat of him so near he wouldn't be able to touch him if he were to reach out. His eyes lingered on the soft lines of Jared's lips and high cheekbones, on the shadows dancing over the bridge of his pointy nose, how red his hair appeared. Like it was made of flames too. 

Jensen forced his gaze away, lifted his eyes skywards and counted the stars. He needed whatever this was to stop. He had to stop. 

"I liked you better that day," Jared's whispered words startled him and he jerked to the side so he was facing the prince. "You were real."

"Am I not now?"

"No. You're not." Jared faced him, a sheen of moisture covered his eyes. Jensen still didn't know what colour they were. "That day when you offered to teach me, when you caught me..." Jared stopped to swallow, take in a breath like wasn't sure of how to finish his sentence. "I was so happy. I've never been so happy. I felt protected. I felt like I, too, was real. I trusted you." 

"I am unworthy of such praise, Your Highness."

"This is what I mean. This is fake,  _ Sir _ Jensen. All my life, everyone around me looked at me and didn't see me. They saw my father's furious threats and promises and they were afraid of me. I couldn't blame them but I felt lonely. On that day, you seemed different." 

Jensen kept silent. He couldn't offer anything in return when all of Jared's words rang true. Jensen remembered how livid the king had been, how he made Jensen fear for his life. Jensen had always thought himself courageous, he didn't think he was scared of death. That day had been eye opening to him. He wasn't afraid before because he was never close enough. Here with less than two feet between them, Jensen was closer to his undoing than he'd been on the battlefield.

Perhaps it was why his heartbeat refused to settle. Perhaps the fear of that day lingered.

''You're dull company.'' Jared said, a smile softening his words.

Jensen smiled back ''Apologies, my prince.''

''I should be the one saying that. I intruded on you.''

''Of course not, Your Highness.''

Jared reached out and Jensen recoiled. He regretted it instantly, he did it out of surprise but they ended up wide eyed with Jared's hand still extended between them. Jared took his hand back and ducked his head, the breath he let out closer to a shudder. He sprang up and marched to his tent.

Jensen stared at his retreating back and wondered what was the real reason for his fear.

***

Jensen stood in front of Jared's tent contemplating if he should go in. After their last one-sided conversation and Jensen's reaction to Jared trying to touch him, Jensen hadn't been able to sleep. He was approached by Jared's maid in the morning, informing him that Jared refused to leave his bed and refused to eat his breakfast. Jensen wasn't used to kids, but he knew a tantrum when he saw one, and this was Jared's way of sulking.

Jensen just wanted this damn journey to end so he could go back to his life and not worry about an eighteen old man who acted like a four year old boy.

''Your Highness?'' he called. ''May I come in?''

No one answered him.

''My prince? Are you alright? Do I have your permission to enter?'' Again, he was ignored. Feeling angry Jensen gripped the flap and barged in, getting angrier at the sight of Jared wrapped in his fine blankets; pouting.

''Good morning, Your Highness.''

''I didn't give you permission,'' Jared whined.

''Your father gave me the liberty to disobey you if your order interfered with your safety.''

''I am perfectly safe here.''

''You haven't eaten,'' Jensen retorted. Jared huffed, sinking down into the pillows and pulling the blankets higher above his head.

''Go away, Jensen.''

Jensen sighed. He closed the distance between him and the bed and gripped the blankets. He yanked and Jared yelped, sitting up in his bed and glaring at Jensen. Jensen smiled, holding eye contact as he dropped the covers to the ground. Jared sputtered.

Jensen purposefully kept his eyes on Jared's face. The prince was clad in nothing but a white, wide tunic that left most of his thighs bare. The neck was so big and disheveled that Jared's collar bones were on display, the cloth sliding down on one side, revealing a pale, round shoulder.

''Give me back the blanket.'' Jared made a grabbing motion with his extended hand, eyes angry as he looked up at Jensen.

''Sincerest apologies,'' Jensen started with as much fake politeness as he could muster. ''I must refuse you. I insist you get out of bed and have your meal; you're delaying our progress. The men are already packing the camp.''

Jared pulled his legs up and hugged his knees, resting his cheek on them and looking away from Jensen, lips drawn into a thin line. Jensen was pushing it, he knew he was overstepping but Jared wasn't rational. He didn't act with the grace of a young prince, but with the petulance of a spoiled brat. It was high past time he learnt to be responsible.

''I don't want to eat,'' Jared mumbled.

''My prince, you can't travel on an empty stomach.''

''Then we shan’t travel!'' Jared got up and stomped his way to the discarded blanket, dragging it back to bed. He covered himself and turned his back to Jensen.

Jensen rubbed at his face with both hands, staring at the lump on the bed. He didn't think Jared genuinely wanted to make everyone's life difficult, but he was raised with all his needs and demands being met at once and so he grew entitled. The king's favouritism only served to make him more selfish.

Jensen walked around and knelt beside the bed, facing Jared. ''We are here to ensure you're as happy and comfortable as could be, so I beg of you, don't make it harder on us than it already is. We cannot afford more delay, we're moving too slowly as it is.''

Jared peeked at him from under the cover. ''I'm inconveniencing you?'' 

There was a bit of a challenge there, but Jensen caught the genuineness in the question. The same sincere tone that was in Jared's voice when he asked Jensen permission to join him, the same courage when he defended Jensen from the king's wrath.

''Not only me, Your Highness,'' Jensen replied. ''Genevieve was distressed that you refused food, she's probably worried that she offended you somehow. All the men are ready to leave but are waiting for you, they have nothing on their minds but delivering you to your destination safely and in a timely manner.''

''I didn't think...'' Jared cut himself off, pursing his lips. Knowing he was in the wrong and owning up to it were different matters, and Jensen knew of royal pride. Without another word Jensen stood up and stepped back, waiting with his hands clasped behind his back.

''Call for the servants. I need to get dressed.''

Jensen smiled as he bowed.

**

The days following Jared's tantrum were weird, they traveled with the same schedule but Jared was more accommodating. He didn't interfere with the men working, didn't complain about eating the same food and didn't refuse his meals again. Jensen knew that Jared didn't want to be difficult but he hadn't expected to see change so fast. Something akin to pride took residence in his chest, he wasn't proud to be the reason for the change, but he was proud of Jared for trying.

Jared took to joining him for a bit when Jensen was assigned guarding duty. He didn't say anything, merely shared the silence with Jensen for few minutes before he went to sleep. Jensen found himself longing for Jared's deep voice, found it harder to keep the calm between them. Jensen was waiting again tonight.

A branch snapped behind him and he smiled, scooting to the side despite the fact that there was plenty of room already. ''Good evening, Your Highness.''

Jared stopped, looked at Jensen with a raised brow. Jensen smiled at him, patting the place beside him.

''Are you ill?'' Jared asked.

''I'm well, Your Highness.''

''It's not like you to be friendly,''

''I apologize.''

''I'm not offended.'' Jared waved him off and sat down. Something in his hands drew Jensen's eyes, and he stared for a moment. Jared was holding a piece of fine, white cloth which he had fixed to a wooden circle. It took Jensen a few seconds to realize that Jared was embroidering. The design was beautiful, but not simple; numerous branches that ended up with flowers and leaves. It spoke of skill and years of practice.

''I know it's weird, for a prince to take on such a craft.''

Jensen's curiosity took the better of him ''If I may, why did Your Highness choose to learn this?''

''I did not.'' Jared stated. His elegant fingers wove the thread into the cloth with ease. Jensen stared at his hands, such long delicate fingers. They'd seen no handle of a sword or rein of a horse, just like a fair maiden's hands.

''You're very skilled, Your Highness.'' Jensen praised. He had no patience for these crafts, his hands more used to blunt acts rather than something that needed such finesse.

''I know what you really think; that this is unsuited for a prince. A man. I wanted to learn fencing and riding, but this was what I was permitted.''

Jensen's chest caved in at the sadness in Jared's admission.

''I could teach you,'' Jensen said; repeating his words from their first meeting. Jared's movement halted and he turned a considering gaze towards Jensen.

''Aren't you afraid?''

Jensen was, in fact, afraid but he doubted that he was afraid for the right reasons.

''There's no one to tell on us here.'' 

Jared smiled. Jared smiled often but Jensen had learnt that he had many smiles. This one he'd only seen once; back when he'd first offered to teach Jared how to ride a horse. This smile was real and joyous. Jensen's heart faltered, stopping for a bit before it squeezed out painful beats but he was happy and it felt addictive.

Jared embroidered some more and Jensen retrieved a book he'd been reading. They sat together until the next guard came to change with Jensen and they exchanged soft wishes of goodnight before they parted ways.     

**

"Shoulders back and legs apart!" 

Jensen called and Jared huffed in annoyance at being corrected yet again. Jensen had taken his permission to treat him like one of his soldiers so he could teach him properly. 

Jared assumed his position and held his sword in front of him, looking at Jensen for confirmation before he charged. Jensen flicked his wrist and Jared's sword flew out of his hand. 

"Hold on to your sword strongly, my prince." 

Jared winced and rubbed his hand. "You're hurting me,"

''It's a fight, it's supposed to hurt. Now pick up your sword.''

Jared grumbled but did as he was told, taking a deep breath and lunging at Jensen, who dodged easily and extended his leg causing Jared to lose his balance. Jensen caught him around the waist before he hit the dirt. Jared straightened in his hold and suddenly they were facing each other; their noses almost touching. Jared blinked at him, looking almost dazed as he leaned closer, his breath warm on Jensen's lips. Jensen stepped back.

''That's enough for today,'' he rushed to say, feeling his heart as it tried to beat its way out of his chest. ''I believe the men have finished packing the camp by now.'' He turned back and marched away from Jared, his mouth dry.

He was about to kiss Jared.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling it rattle its way out, his whole body shook with the urge to turn around and go back to Jared, to feel his lips this time. Jensen wasn't a weak man, it would've been easier to resist Jared if what he felt was merely lust.

It wasn't.

**

They stopped at a clearing close to a river, refilling their water sources and bathing. Jensen was pleased to have a man in his party that recognized the area, and had assured them that they wouldn't stray from their destination if they followed the river. Having a source of water for a part of the trip made it easier on them, as they could travel lighter for as long as the river ran in their course.

The morning sun shone brightly, and as was his habit the last few days, Jensen wandered around as his men prepared breakfast. He stood near the water edge, looking at his murky reflection. Their journey and a certain difficult prince had kept him busy, and he couldn't recall the last time he looked at himself in a mirror. His beard had grown too thick, and his normally chopped hair was starting to lengthen, appearing a darker shade of brown. He grimaced; he hated having a beard, despite the many times he was told he looked handsome with it. He merely felt unkempt. Moreover it was itchy and now that he'd seen it he wouldn't stop scratching at it. He needed a shave.

''I could help you with that.''

Jensen flinched, turning around to face a grinning Jared.

Ever since Jensen lost the last of his senses and almost kissed the prince, they had this strange tiptoeing. It reminded Jensen of preparing for battle, the worry of never coming back mixing with the desire to prevail and conquer. Jared's advances had a sugary edge to them, coming too close when they trained, asking Jensen to ride with him on his horse so he would feel safer while he got used to it. It was strange, being in this push and pull state with someone. Having the anticipation build, knowing full well it would crash over him and leave him with nothing but regret, and still not being able to stop it.

''Help me with what, Your Highness?''

Jared lifted his hand and touched the back of his fingers to his cheek twice, and Jensen mimicked the action.

''My beard?'' he said with surprise ''Your Highness, surely you jest.''

Instead of answering with words, Jared stepped close and caught Jensen's wrist. He dragged him back to the camp, and into Jared's tent. Jensen stood in the middle, eyeing Jared warily.

''Sit down,'' Jared ordered, pointed at a small chair. Jensen complied and Jared smiled at him. He rummaged through the chest he had for a bit before he took out a shaving blade.

Jensen stood up so fast he knocked the chair down. ''Your Highness!'' he said, mortified. The prince,  _ the prince  _ wanted to shave  _ him _ .

''What are you doing, my prince? This is not a task for you to--''

''--Worry not, Jensen. I know how to do this!'' Jared proclaimed, sounding proud of his knowledge.

Jensen had so many questions but his mouth refused to cooperate and let them out so he opted to stand there and stare at Jared with wide eyes. Who on earth taught the prince how to shave people? Jared had a servant to dress him. It made no sense. And even so.

''This is not about whether you know how to or not,'' Jensen argued. Jared paid him no mind, walking around the tent and gathering a pot and a small basin, a bar of soap and a clean cloth, setting them on the table beside Jensen.

''I do this for Gilbert all the time,'' Jared said, smiling. Jensen froze.

Jared righted the chair and pushed him gently to sit on it, and Jensen went easily. The crown prince made Jared shave him? Jensen's mind whirled, not finding a reason to explain the situation.

''May I ask why?''

Jared hummed, eyes on the soap as he lathered it between his hands.  When he spoke he was obviously distracted. ''When I was younger I tended to follow Gilbert around, and he would yell at me or send me away. He's from a different mother, seven years older and had much more responsibility so it was to be expected he had no time or desire to tend to his annoying little brother.''

Jared hands soft as a feather touched his cheeks, spreading soap over them in a thick layer, his face closer than necessary for his task. ''Then one day, he was being shaved and he asked me if I wanted to do it for him. I was so happy so I agreed.'' Jared had a tender smile on his face, his eyes fond as he recalled the memory. Jensen didn't have it in his heart to taint something so innocent, to ruin his happiness and tell him that asking him, a prince, to do such a task - a task meant to be performed by a servant - had been ill intentioned. 

He didn't protest again, allowed himself to relax and bask in being the focus of Jared's attention. Jared's hands on him were so gentle that he barely felt them, and his lids dropped without his consent. The slides of the razor felt soothing, and he found no trouble in baring his throat to Jared. He opened his eyes again to find Jared closer than before, lips parted and eyes hazy. His breath hitched as Jared tipped his head back and to the side, getting the patches of hair under his jaw.

It was too intimate, too warm where their skin brushed. This close, Jensen could smell Jared's rose scented oil that he knew the maid added to his bath, he could feel Jared's breath on his wet skin, raising goosebumps wherever it touched.  His heart beat loud as a war drum in his chest, blood rushed down and suddenly controlling his breath was a hard to achieve task.

The cloth was cold, Jared wiping the last bits of soap with light caresses that made Jensen weak. They locked eyes and Jared swayed forward, hesitating a bit before tilting his head to the side and closing his eyes. His lips landed on Jensen's cheek slow and soft as the batting of a butterfly’s wings, forcing Jensen's eyes shut for the second the sweet kiss lasted.

''There,'' Jared rasped, his cheek a hair away from Jensen's own. ''All done.'' He stepped back and busied himself with cleaning the table, and Jensen used all his will power to stay in the damn chair and not ravish him.

''Thank you.''

Jared nodded, eyes downcast.

Genevieve’'s voice made its way to them, breaking whatever spell was holding Jensen captive.

''No you may not,'' Jared answered.

''I brought you breakfast, my prince,'' she said.

''You should eat. I'll leave.''

Jared pursed his lips, glared at the floor.

''Is something the matter, Your Highness?''

The look he got made Jensen wish he hadn’t opened his mouth, he should've just left. Jared's eyes were intense as they met his but the moisture gathering at the corners was impossible to ignore. Jared lowered his head and wiped at his eyes, motioned for Jensen to go.

His hand hesitated near the tent flap for a while as his eyes refused to leave Jared. ''We're still meeting for your sword lesson?'' He hated how meek he sounded, something like pleading in the tone of the question. Jared nodded and he hurried to run away before he blurted something that shouldn't be said. Or worse; did something shouldn't be done like marching over there and kissing Jared with everything he had.  

***

Jared was getting better at handling a sword, but he still paid too much attention to his feet. The minute he had a sword in his hand, Jared was distracted, like he didn't know what to do with the rest of himself not holding the weapon. Jensen watched as Jared tripped over his feet and went down again and couldn't help but laugh.

''Stop laughing! This hurts,'' Jared grumbled.

''Apologies my prince, it is infinitely amusing to see you unlearn how to walk the second you touch a sword.''

''You're insufferable!''

Jensen bowed his head and Jared huffed and got up.

''Do you know how to dance, Your Highness?''

''Of course.''

''Good then, put the sword away and let's dance.''

The look on Jared's face almost made Jensen laugh again; his eyes were wide and his mouth open, blinking at Jensen then frowning.

''I'm not joking,''

Jared shifted from foot to foot ''There's no music.''

''That's not the point,'' Jensen said as he walked towards Jared, who stared at him with wide eyes. He offered his hand, palm up and slowly Jared placed his on it. Jensen smiled, closed his fingers around Jared's hand and pulled him closer. Jared grinned at him and gave him his other hand.

Few sides steps, then they rounded each other, and back to standing in the first position. Jensen sped up the steps and Jared followed, they span in circles and clapped and before Jensen knew it they were laughing and dancing like there was music guiding their steps.

The dance ended with them standing toe to toe, Jared's face close to his; his cheeks flushed and his dimples out. Jensen bumped their foreheads together, making Jared laugh.

''So you  _ can _ move your feet,'' he whispered, taking a step away. Their hands still held together, and Jensen didn't let go until the steps he kept taking forced them to disentangle.

''Now fighting is no different than dancing. All you need is to exert the same control on your body. Pick the sword up.''

Jared did, and they fought until a servant called for them and it was time to move along.

When everything was ready for them to continue their travel Jared refused to get into his carriage. ''You said practice is the only way for me to get better,'' he told Jensen firmly, ''and traveling in a carriage won't help me. Moreover, I can't see a better chance to do so.''

Jensen couldn't argue with that logic. ''John!'' he hollered.

''Sir?'' John replied. He was atop his horse, back straight and eyes attentive; ready to obey whatever Jensen would ask of him. Jensen gestured with his chin at John's horse.

''His Highness will be riding your horse for today's journey. You can take the carriage.'' Jensen smiled at the dumbfounded expression that took over John's features. John, however compiled without uttering a protest, dismounting and handing the reins to Jared. He hesitated in front of the carriage, looking at Jensen again, only when Jensen nodded at him did he climb inside with Genevieve, who always shared the carriage with Jared.

Jared checked the saddle before he got up and grinned at Jensen, giving a gentle kick with his heel to make the horse move forward. Jensen followed suit, leading his horse so it was beside Jared's. They rode side by side with nothing said between them for long time.

The sun was hot on Jensen's skin, beams beating down on him and making him sweat. Despite the discomfort of it, he knew all of them were thankful they didn't encounter rain and he hoped their luck would hold through.

The sun made its way across the sky, Jensen estimated that half the day had passed when Jared's first complain was heard. Honestly, he lasted longer than Jensen had thought he would.

''This is torture,'' Jared announced.

Jensen snorted. ''I recall Your Highness insisting on riding with us today.''

''I had no idea it could be so painful. Everything hurts. My thighs are burning and my back is aching and I don't think my neck will be able to hold my head for much longer,''

''If I may, Your Highness, you're being dramatic.''

''Surely you shan’t call me dramatic when I die.''

''I don't know anyone who died from a half day ride, my prince.'' Jensen couldn't hold the smile in his voice.

''You are enjoying my suffering, Jensen.''

''I can't say I'm not.''

Jared burst out, head falling back as he laughed; soft hair cascading down his neck in lovely waves that reflected the sunlight. His long, pale neck was exposed in a tantalizing  curve, and his shoulders shook with mirth. Jensen was mesmerized, completely and utterly helpless but to stare at Jared, his chest expanding with happiness at being the reason for Jared's laugh. 

''You're insufferable,'' Jared said between giggles. Jensen smiled and bowed his head.

***

The sun was still shining bright when Jared's obvious discomfort brought them to a stop. Despite Jared's continuous complains, once the real pain sat in he grew silent and even refused to set camp earlier than everyday and delay them. Jensen didn't listen, and ordered the party to halt its march.

''Your Highness, don't be stubborn and get down. You can sit in the carriage while the men set your tent.'' Jensen said. 

Jared didn't move. He smiled sheepishly, a bit of pain on his face when he said, ''I can't.''

Jensen tilted his head to the side. ''I beg your pardon?''

''My legs won't move.''

Jensen cursed himself for being so careless. He hadn't expected Jared to force himself this far.

''Lean down,'' he instructed; placing his forearm on Jared's behind and wrapping the other around Jared's waist. Jared complied, putting his hands on Jensen's shoulders and gripping hard. Jensen pulled and Jared yelped as he ended up held upright in Jensen's arms.

He stared down in surprise; eyes darting between Jensen and his arms that were both around Jared's thighs now. His face turned red and he squeezed his eyes shut, the demure gesture sent Jensen's heart into a frantic rhythm; his arms tightened of their own will.  He carefully moved one arm up, supporting Jared's shoulders, the other he slipped down in a quick motion so Jared was held properly.

''Let's get you to the carriage, shall we? I'll ask Genevieve to massage your legs, then all you'll need is a walk and you'll feel better in no time.''

Jared nodded, his cheeks still glowing rosy and he hid in Jensen's neck. Jensen walked deliberately slow, wishing to lengthen the time he had Jared so close to his chest.

Jared was up and about by the time his tent was ready, but Jensen walked with him just to be safe. ''Don't worry, it doesn't even hurt anymore.''

Once they were both inside; Jensen's mouth ran on its own, asking what he’d wanted to ask since they stopped. ''Why didn't you order us to stop? You jested about the matter, but you never really complained.''

''I didn't want to disappoint you.'' Jared was so earnest the words felt like a dagger in Jensen's heart. He was supposed to protect Jared;  _ take care of him _ and Jared ended up enduring pain because he didn't want to slow them down, because Jensen kept grumping about being delayed.

Jensen took a knee in front of Jared, head hanging in shame. ''I have failed you,'' he said, feeling a lump forming in his throat.

''Jensen, get up.''

''Forgive me, my prince. For making you feel you had something to prove.''

''Get up,'' Jared ordered in a near hiss. Jensen couldn't, he wasn't ready to look at Jared now. Not with his chest burning like it was, not with Jared sounding like that.

There was a thump then Jared was on the ground in front of him and he looked so beautiful it physically hurt to look at him. But Jensen couldn't not look when Jared was this close, when he was leaning closer and closer.

Their lips met and Jensen lost all the air in his lungs, everything in him surged forward. His hands found a home in Jared's hair, pulling him in, titling his head to the side so he could kiss him deeper, better. Jared tasted sweet, like something stolen. Like all the things Jensen wanted and should never get.

He couldn't stop.

He pushed Jared down, pinning him to the ground and Jared let him, just went limp under him and dropped his jaw to suck Jensen's tongue into his mouth, opened his legs to make room for Jensen between them. Jensen growled as he felt the heat of Jared's cock, hard as a rock between them.

They broke off with a gasp, and Jensen instantly turned his attention to Jared's neck, the curve that connected it to his shoulders. The patch of skin that had tempted him since he first laid eyes on Jared. Jared keened beneath him, high pitched sounds falling from his lips as Jensen sucked at his throat. Jensen had the clarity of mind to move away before he left a mark, kissing his way down. He hooked a finger in Jared's tunic and yanked, baring his collarbone. He could leave a mark here.

''Jensen,'' Jared whined, writhing in pleasure, the noises he made growing higher and sweeter the harder Jensen sucked at his skin. He bit down hard and Jared moaned, arching into him.

''You like it rough? Want me to bite you?''Jensen whispered, air from his mouth so close to Jared's skin; raising goosebumps where it touched Jared.

''Yes,'' Jared breathed, his voice already hoarse. It went straight to Jensen's cock. He fisted his hands in Jared's tunic and tugged. Jared sat up and lifted his arms, helping Jensen get rid of it. Jensen stood up and stripped off his many layers, tossing them all aside; he unfastened the leather bracers and threw them on top of the pile

Jared stared up at him from where he was sprawled on the floor, eyes half-lidded and hair messed up. He had a bright red kiss mark and bite indents on his collarbone and it did something to Jensen, satisfied a primal part in him that wanted to own.

''What do you want, Your Highness?'' Jensen could barely recognized his voice, it was scratched and husky and the words were panted.

Jared moved up so he was on his knees and locked eyes with Jensen. slowly, he placed both his hands on Jensen's breeches, nimble fingers untangling the laces. Jensen swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. He couldn't believe the sight in front of him, Jared half naked, marked up and on his knees. Ready to please.

At the sight of Jensen's cock, Jared let out a whimper, his eyes growing hazier as he stared at Jensen. ''It's so big,'' he whispered shakily.

''You backing out?'' Jensen might die if that happened but he was ready to stop everything if Jared had the slightest doubt. Jared shook his head, sending his locks flying in every direction. His face flushed even redder as he opened his mouth wide and let his tongue out and Jensen's knees almost gave out at how hot Jared was in that moment. He tangled his fingers in Jared's messy hair and tugged him close, the tip of his cock sliding messily over Jared's lips. Jared whined, craning his head further back.

''You want it that bad?''

Jared nodded and Jensen groaned. He moved forward, guiding his cock into the welcoming heat and he had to bite his lips so he wouldn't come so soon. Jared's lips around him felt like a dream, hot and wet and perfect and Jared didn't even move yet. Jared gave the head a long suck and moaned, the vibrations making Jensen's cock twitch.

''What are you waiting for? Move.'' As if burned, Jared jolted, a keening sound getting out of him and he gripped at Jensen's hips, head bobbing instantly. Jensen looked down at Jared's crotch taking note of the wet patch on his pants. And it clicked.

''You like being ordered around?'' Jared moaned again, nodding with his mouth full of Jensen's cock, drooling all over as he did so and Jensen felt fire spread through him. Jared was so unbelievably hot.  He fisted his other hand in Jared's hair and used his grip to hold him in place, and this time he yanked hard, forcing more of his length inside. Jared gagged, but he didn't protest, only tugged at Jensen's hips, urging him further. Jensen thrust in, setting a pace, forcing his cock into Jared's throat with every fuck of his hips. The noises Jared made were enough to make a loose woman blush, the sound of Jensen's cock slipping into his mouth obscene.

Jensen used a will he didn't know he had to stop and pull out, Jared instantly protesting at the action. Jensen used the hand he had in Jared's hair to pull him up and Jared obeyed willingly.  The moment they were face to face, Jensen crushed their lips together, sliding his tongue inside Jared's mouth and searching for his own taste. Jared wrapped his arms around his shoulders, bringing them closer. They kissed slow and sloppy and earth shattering. Jensen forgot kissing anyone before as Jared's lips brushed against his and their tongues tangled. Jared was deliciously submissive, following wherever Jensen guided him, and Jensen didn't know if it was lack of experience or if it was simply how Jared was. And hell if both options didn't get into his head like wine.

''Take them off,'' Jensen bit off, pushing at Jared's leather pants. Jared broke away, and shed them so fast he nearly tripped. When he looked up at Jensen, his smile was shy and he brushed a lock of hair behind his ear in an endearing gesture that tugged at Jensen's heart.

''On the bed. Hands and knees.''

Jared hurried to comply and Jensen followed him to the bed, lining himself with Jared chest to back. Jared arched into him, his breath hitching when Jensen's cock nestled between his thighs. Jensen licked a strip from the base of his neck to his ear, sucking at the lobe before whispering: ''Make them tight for me, my prince.'' A loud keen fell from Jared's mouth and he obeyed, clasping his thighs together, the supple flesh feeling like heaven around Jensen's cock. 

Another high pitched moan made its way out of Jared's throat as Jensen's hand wrapped around his cock. Jensen thrust forward, making sure to jerk Jared with the same speed and that was it. Jared came with a whine that pushed Jensen over the edge. Jensen came between Jared's thighs just as Jared stained the bed. Jared collapsed and Jensen barely managed to hold himself up until he rolled to the side and crashed face first to the pillow.

Jared wiggled around, facing him and Jensen almost choked at the sight, Jared debauched and exerted, his voice came out rugged, and Jensen thought his throat must be sore. That was almost hot enough to make his cock hard again. Jared smiled at him, happy and sated and Jensen had to pull him for a kiss.

''Mmm,'' Jared hummed into the kiss, smiling he broke away. ''That was so good. You need a promotion,'' then he rolled to his back and sighed.

It was like a bucket of cold water was dumped on Jensen's head, forcing him back to reality. He got out of the bed like it was on fire, hurriedly gathering his clothes that were scattered around.

''Jensen, what's wrong?''

Jensen didn't reply, putting on article after article of clothing as if he would get a reward for speed, his chainmail settled over his shoulders and chest then he fixed his bracers back in place, tying them harder than required.

''Jensen?'' This time, his name was spoken with something close to fear. Jensen hardened his heart.

''I crossed the line. This was a mistake,''

''A mistake?'' The word was more a resigned repetition than a question but Jensen heard the hesitant query all the same.

''Yes. I apologize deeply.'' Jensen bowed, locking his eyes with Jared's for less than a heartbeat before he fled.

***

Walking away and staying away were completely two different matters. Jensen had left the bed in a spur of courage and righteousness but the more time passed the harder it was to keep his distance.

It didn’t help that Jared was close at all times, refusing to put that night behind him. He didn't outright talk about it, but his eyes were accusing, and his smiles around Jensen were fake and short lived. Jared also insisted on continuing their sword training and rode for a little while every day. He didn't force himself like he did the first time but never did a day pass where he didn't ride alongside Jensen, throwing him hesitant glances that almost made Jensen guilty.

Jensen couldn't afford to feel guilty, not with Jared. He couldn't be in this if they weren't equals, and Jared's comment had put him in his place and reminded him that he never could be Jared's equal.

Three days later, Jared's patience ran out. It didn't take long and Jensen hadn't expected it to.

''You can't ignore me like that,'' Jared started, throwing his sword aside to indicate that practice time was over.

''I'm not ignoring you, Your Highness. I spend the whole day with you.''

''This is not what I meant!'' Jared snapped. ''You can't just do that.''

''I'm afraid I'm not following, Your Highness.''

Jared pursed his lips together, seemingly frustrated. ''Do you remember that night by the fire?''

''We have a lot of those, Your Highness.''

Jared's chest rose and fell slowly as he sucked in a deep breath. ''I told you that people were afraid to get close to me. Is this why you're doing this?''

If he said yes, then it'd be easier, so much easier than explaining all the reasons that they couldn't roll in the hay anymore. Jared was a prince; a young, inexperienced prince and he was curious and Jensen probably was the first one stupid enough to get close. He would get tired of Jensen once his curiosity was satisfied, and Jensen would be left to collect the pieces of a broken heart. He simply couldn't do that to himself, not when it already hurt this much. More time to build the illusion, and Jared walking away would kill him.

''Your father will have my head.''

''Do you think he wouldn't kill you if he knew you broke my heart?''

Jensen didn't answer, counting his breaths. Keep it together, he repeated to himself. Jared's heartbreak didn't mean the same, he _ couldn't  _ be feeling the same. Not with how he was talking to Jensen.

''Do you want me to have him order you to be with me?'' Jared's voice was loud, but the words didn't need the volume to be the slap in the face they were. Jensen didn't move but Jared flinched; surprised at his own words.

''Jensen, I didn't mean...'' he cut himself off and Jensen knew he was right all along. Jared's first thought was to run to his father, to order Jensen. Or to promote him, like all he meant to Jensen was a way to get ranks.

He bowed deep, forcing calm into his voice. ''I shall do whatever His Majesty asks of me.''

''Jensen, I--''

''You're the prince, you do not need your father to command me. Command me at your will, Your Highness and I shall be but obedient.'' He turned around, and when Jared didn't try to stop him he ran.

***

The first arrow that came fell right in front of Jared's tent, and Jensen was on his feet shouting orders before the next heartbeat. The next arrow was lit with fire, and it brought dozens with it. They rained down as Jensen sprinted into Jared's tent like the sky opened the gates of hell and poured flames on them.

''Your Highness!'' Jensen called and dragged a confused Jared out of bed. ''Wake up now! Put on your clothes and get out, go to my tent. Your Highness!''

Jared moved with the sleep weighing down his limbs, and Jensen kept talking to him as he dressed. Jensen moved as fast as he could, retrieving the small box of coins that was in the chest, along with a coat of fur, he threw both on the bed and wrapped them in the blanket, making them into as thin a roll as possible. Jared caught up when the roof started burning, the wool of the tent opening up and the wooden pillars caught up in flames. Jensen held Jared’s hand and ran. His tent was far away from the original camp, a part of his support plan he never thought he'd need and was thankful that he kept up. Jensen had always trusted his instincts, and they were screaming at him that the attack wasn't led by thieves, the fact that all the arrows and the men that spilled like hungry ants gathering around a dead insect, headed to Jared's tent without pause, was very telling that this wasn't random and that these men had one thing in mind. They wanted to kill Jared.

He was glad that he didn't unpack anything, the fur he slept on and the blankets were wrapped still, and so was the bag that had his belongings. He grabbed them both and got out, dragging Jared along with him, he cut one of the ropes that held the tent and tied the roll he carried out of Jared's tent with the one from his and gave everything to Jared.

Jared was staring back at the burning camp, his face pale as death. Jensen's call was drowned out by the screams and the clacking of swords.

''Take these and run, don't stop until you get to the river.'' Jared looked at him with hazy eyes, like he was drunk. ''Jared!'' Jensen shouted ''Do you understand what I'm saying?''

''What about you?'' Jared asked, hands shaking as he took their belongings from Jensen.

''I'll be right behind you.''

A scream sounded and Jared flinched. ''That's Genevieve, Jensen we can't leave. We--''

Jensen cut him off with a hand on his cheek, turning his face away from the battle and back to Jensen. ''We're outnumbered, going back will kill us both. Now run.''

''Jensen, I'm scared.'' There were tears in Jared's eyes that broke something in him. Jensen cupped his face and pulled him closer, planted a firm kiss on his forehead and patted his cheek twice. ''Don't be scared, my prince.'' Jared's tears spilled over but he got up and ran, Jensen spared a second to watch him go before he got into the battle.

He moved fast, the only thought in his head was to go back to Jared. But before that, he had to make sure no one followed them. He hid until he saw what he was looking for, a skinny soldier. He felt ashamed as he stabbed him in the back but he couldn't bring himself to stop and regret it now. He threw the body in the fire of Jared's tent. Lured another fighter to follow him to his own tent, where he killed him and burned the tent down.

Stopping for some breaths, hiding and making sure no one noticed him then he followed in Jared's trail. He removed as much evidence as he could, careful to not leave marks behind, thanking heavens for the umpteenth time that the past days have been dry and hot. The dirt was solid enough that Jensen's feet didn't lived prints, the only proof of Jared was broken branches that Jensen hid along his walk. He wanted so much to run at full speed and get to Jared, but he forced himself to walk slowly and hide their trail.

Jared's sniffles made its way to his ears long before he caught sight of him, and he let the muffled sounds lead him to Jared.

''Your Highness,'' he breathed and Jared span around and ran to him. He threw himself at Jensen, sending them both to the ground, but he didn't care. He burrowed closer until he was on top of Jensen, face hidden in Jensen's neck. His chest expanded and collapsed on itself as sob after sob wrenched out of him. Jensen wanted to give him time to cry, to mourn but they couldn't stop. Not yet.

''Your Highness,'' he managed to get himself into a sitting position with Jared still clinging to him. ''We need to move, we're not safe yet.''

Perhaps he had underestimated Jared. The prince offered no protests, only took a shuddering breath and pulled back; nodding once before he got to his feet. His cheeks were red and lined with tear tracks and his eyes were puffy but he stood tall and ceased his sobs. Jensen gathered the few belongings they had left and extended an open hand to Jared. Wordlessly Jared took it and held fast and together they made their way along the river.

They kept walking until the sun rose and moved to the center of the sky, Jensen never letting go of Jared. Neither spoke and Jensen pretended like he was ignorant of Jared's silent tears. Jensen knew where they were, close to a town that not many remembered, he only thought of it because he had visited it once long ago.

Shoebar may be small, but it had an inn they could sleep in tonight, had a market where they could buy what they needed. Jensen had taken all the money they had with them, so they weren't short on that front, they could even buy horses if they were lucky. Ochar wasn't far away, two days ride at the longest. They only needed to stop and regroup.

A while of walking later, Jensen breathed a sigh of relief. ''We're here,'' he announced.

''Where's here?''

''Shoebar.''

The first building to come into sight was the town's church; an old wooden building that stood at the edge of the town, just behind it a few scattered, small houses and a muddy road that would take them to the inn Jensen remembered staying in.

The longer they walked, the more buildings they saw. It was nothing compared to the capital where the people were too many and the noises were too loud. The inn was a sad, nearly worn down place, with two storeys and barely holding on doors. Jared's eyes darted over the sign that read the name of the place and his lips turned to a thin line. Jensen waited for the protests but it never came, and he was glad Jared appreciated the situation enough to endure staying somewhere so below him.

The owner welcomed them with a smile and few questions, and Jensen paid him with the coins he set aside in his pocket in advance. The town's residents were relatively friendly, but there was no knowing when someone would pull a sword to your throat if you showed too much money. Fortunately, they looked exhausted and carried little, which guaranteed they wouldn't be seen as a potential target by thieves.

''I want to wash,'' Jared said once they got to their room. It was small, two beds paralleled on the side; a window with a table and two chairs near it. The walls were wet and moldy, and the wooden floorboards creaked with every step Jensen took. He was glad they got a room on the first floor, he was half expecting someone to drop on them from the ceiling. The rooms around them were likely empty, as Jensen heard no sounds and he was thankful for that.

''There's a bathroom at the side of the building, but it's shared.''

Jared blushed up to his ears and blinked at Jensen. ''Shared?''

''Yes. There might be hot water, there's definitely no soap.''

Looking frustrated, Jared threw himself at the bed farther from the door only to get back up with his face pinched into a disgusted expression ''This smells.''

Jensen grinned ''Welcome to the real world, Your Highness.''

Despite his initial hesitancy, Jared did end up sleeping. The non-stop walk had taken a toll on him. Jensen took the chance to ask for a basin and some clean cloth, and the owner promised there would be hot water if Jensen needed it. Then he went to the market and bought food, just enough for dinner. Jared woke up just after sunset, and they had a silent meal.

They got the hot water later, and Jensen helped Jared clean up, Jared was a blushing mess throughout; apologizing with Jensen's every movement. After they retired to their beds, Jensen stared at the ceiling; the faces of his men finally appearing in front of him. He was expecting it, waiting for it even. Every battle took souls, but this time he was leading that party and felt like every death was on him. He saved the prince, their sacrifice was not in vain but the logic didn't block out the screams and the smell of fire.

He turned his body away from Jared, reaching out to a thought he had when that first arrow flew over his head and sliced into the silence. The attackers were no thieves, they wouldn't have burned everything with little thought. They knew who Jared was and they were sent to kill him; by who was the question that concerned Jensen the most. Not because he had no answer but rather, he was afraid he knew the person behind it and if it was true then he couldn't protect Jared.

Not without dying.

''Thank you, Jensen.''

Jensen flinched, the whisper was too loud in the dead of the night and he had been too lost in thought to expect it. The words themselves were another surprise, Jensen hadn't heard Jared utter them before.

''Your Highness, you have nothing to thank me for.''

''You saved my life.''

''It's my duty.''

''More than that, you took care of me. It's past your duties to teach me, or make me laugh or wash and brush my hair for me.'' Jensen couldn't see him, but he was sure Jared's cheeks reddened. ''I didn't realize how helpless I was before this trip,  how dependant I am on others. I can't do anything.''

''That's not true. You embroider, you recite poetry, you dance really well. You can ride a horse, and you can walk two days without complaining and you can show gratitude. That's more than half the nobles I know.''

There was shifting then the bed squawked and the floor creaked and Jensen felt Jared hovering near his bed. He turned around, protests on the tip of his tongue but the sight of tears in Jared's eyes halted him. His heart hurt as Jared's shoulders shook, his breaths turning laboured.

''Just for tonight,'' Jared pleaded. ''Don't turn me away.''

Jensen opened his arms and Jared let out a sharp breath and collapsed into the bed, borrowing as close to Jensen as he could. Jensen held him with everything he had, shushed and rocked him and Jared cried himself to sleep.  With Jared in his arms, the storm raging in his chest calmed down, Jared's soft breathing drowned out all the other voices and Jensen closed his eyes and drifted off.

**

The loud music reached their ears as Jensen and Jared carried what they bought back to the inn. There were crowds and singing, the sound of feet hitting the ground in mirth and clapping filled the air. It was audible even when they got back to the room and Jared opened the window and leaned out; trying to see what was happening.

''Is this a festival of sorts?''

''It's a wedding, Your Highness.'' Jensen smiled as Jared turned around with wide, glittering eyes, his smile big and showing his dimples. Jensen had missed seeing them so he couldn't help it when he said:

''Want to go down and watch?''

Jared's smile turned to a grin, showing white teeth and he nodded; running to Jensen as if he was afraid Jensen would change his mind. Jensen laughed and shook his head fondly; Jared was lovely. 

The noise increased the closer they got to the church, the bells rang and Jared almost squealed in delight as they caught sight of the newlyweds. Two women were holding hands, their clothes worn out but clean, white flowers woven into their hair. They smiled at each other, looking so happy. The people were dancing and singing, throwing petals into the air, they’d probably all known the couple since they were little. All of the town celebrated each wedding. Perhaps it was an excuse to enjoy themselves in the midst of times where there was little to be happy about.

Jared took it all in with awe and wonder, his lips parted as he followed the couple. Jensen held a hand to him and gestured to the dancing crowd with his head. Jared stepped into him and they danced with the villagers, both choosing to put aside their sadness if just for the time being.

''This is the first time you’ve seen a wedding?'' Jensen asked. They were walking back to the inn, with no rush. Jared had a flower crown on his head; one woman had taken it upon herself to name the most beautiful in the crowd and Jared had gotten one of three crowns. He was smiling softly, his eyes shining; a happy bounce to his steps as he strolled alongside Jensen.

''It is. It was very beautiful.''

''Your friend's wedding will surely be different.''

Jared hummed, his pace slowing until he took no more steps  ''It won't be as fun. Royal weddings are a big affair, but they are rarely joyous.''

''Wasn't this the first wedding you attended?''

''It is the first time I've attended a wedding. The weddings I see are not like this one, they’re mostly forced to sign a tracery. Those two were happy, I only wish Sandra wanted her wedding.'' he stayed silent for a while, eyes on the ground. Jensen waited, knew Jared wanted to say something else.

''I wonder if I shall get a wedding as beautiful as this one.'' He said at last, his smile now forced.

''Yours shall be better. You shall marry a fair princess or a prince, and you would love them but they would love you more,'' Jensen rasped, his eyes stinging. Jared titled his head to the side, his gaze piercing. He nodded once, and continued walking.

The next morning, they set out at dawn, and they didn't stop until they entered Ochar the next day.

***

The capital was busy, people everywhere and shouts of venders nearly deafening. Jensen eyed the place skeptically as they rode towards the castle.

''Something's wrong,'' he said. Jared turned his head to send him a questioning gaze before he faced the road again. ''There's nothing that indicates a royal wedding will be held in five days.'' Sure the place was roaming with wandering citizens, and even newcomers like themselves but there were no decorations, no signs announcing the wedding. The feeling that took root in Jensen's gut since the attack strengthened and was impossible to ignore.

''I don't think there is a wedding, Your Highness.''

Jared wasn't stupid and Jensen could see the moment he reached the same conclusion Jensen had; the wedding invitation was not real.

''Let's go make sure,'' Jared ordered, kicked at the horse and sped in front of Jensen. Jensen followed on his heels, dread spreading through his chest. This only confirmed that whoever wanted Jared dead was close to him; a member of the royal family.

**

''Prince Jared, it has been so long.'' Sandra was the epitome of a well mannered princess; she had greeted them with a curtsy and stood behind her father, not speaking until he stopped. She announced that they were her personal guests and offered them full hospitality. Despite her apparent surprise at Jared's sudden visit, she didn't hesitate to be the generous hostess.

And she was beautiful.

She confirmed their suspicions about not getting married, and soon after she and Jared got to laugh over shared past. They looked good together, both their eyes shining. Jared had told him, in one of their late night conversations near the fire that he and Princess Sandra used to play house when they were young and that their fathers had joked about marrying them someday. Jensen wasn't a fool, he could see the trace of those childish promises in Princess Sandra's shy glances and charming smiles. He could imagine her dreaming of Jared as she grew older, nurturing the dream of a little princess marrying her prince someday.

There was an ease to their interactions that spoke of a strong friendship, despite how long it had been, apparently ten years wasn't enough to end whatever they had when they were kids. Jensen excused himself, and a servant led him to his room where another offered to help him bathe. He asked for a barber, his bread having grown again and he was eager to get rid of it, his hair needed a trim too.

He didn't see Jared until he was called for dinner. Jared looked unreal in the expensive clothes their hostess offered him, so far out of Jensen's reach. So impossible. Half of his hair was tied up, leaving only a few strands to frame his face, his smile was easy and his eyes didn't leave the princess. Not one glance at Jensen.

It was not his place, but he recognized the fire that was eating at his insides as jealousy. He could barely taste the food, and couldn't stomach the fine drinks that were offered. Once again, he took his leave as soon as it wasn't considered rude; running back to his room.

The bed whispered promises of a better night sleep than he had in the past month, and he threw himself at it face first; hoping to smother his feelings to an early grave so seeing Jared in the morning wouldn't hurt as much as he knew it would. He knew what he had been, he knew. That night when he ate moans of his names out of Jared's mouth, that night when Jared fell apart under his hands, gave everything up and said nothing but ''Jensen''

It was just that; a shared night of pleasure. He  _ knew _ and expected nothing and ran away just so he wouldn't be here but he still was. Alone and bitter, and heartbroken. It was too late for him the moment their lips touched and no distance he put between them was going to sooth the pain.

The door squeaked open and Jensen jumped out of bed only to sag at the sight of Jared.

''Are you alright?'' Jared said, entering and closing the door behind him.

''Why wouldn't I be?''

''You didn't eat well,'' Jared offered as an answer.

''I didn't think Your Highness noticed whether I ate or not. You have been preoccupied reminiscing about your childhood with the princess.'' He was proud the words sounded neutral rather than bitter and snippy as he wanted them to be. Jared blinked twice then he froze, staring at Jensen with wide eyes. The next heartbeat, he stood in front of Jensen, hands cupping his face and forcing his eyes to meet passionate hazels.

''Is this what you've been thinking about? This whole time? Is this why you said what you said when we attended the wedding in Shoebar?''

''I don't understand,'' Jensen replied. Jared inched closer, staring right through Jensen.

''Why did you leave that night?'' Jared whispered.

''Your High--''

''Is it because you think I don't love you? Or is it because you think you can't be enough?''

Jensen tried to lower his head, closed his eyes when Jared's hands held his head in place.

''I'm merely a knight, my prince.''

'' _ Your _ prince, Jensen.'' Jared spoke fervently. '' _ Yours _ .''

''Please,'' Jensen breathed, ''please don't do this to me.'' It was his ultimate weakness and he bared it to Jared, he knew as sure as the stars that if he gave in tonight this would be the end for him. He would never live without Jared again, he'd die.

The softest lips touched his in a hesitant kiss that shattered his soul and melted his bones; the sweetness of each brush of lips destroyed his resolve and transformed the fear he felt into burning desire. The longing that had been clawing at his insides calmed down, and Jensen surrendered.

He pulled Jared flush against him and Jared moaned, opening his mouth wide to Jensen and sucking at his tongue. Jensen turned them around, walked Jared until the back of his knees hit the bed and he pushed him onto the mattress. Jared spread his legs wantonly, his arms extending towards Jensen, inviting him in and Jensen growled at the tempting sight. He climbed onto the bed, settling between Jared's thighs.

Their mouths found each other again, this time with more heat; more passion. Jensen gave it all up, his pent up lust, his burning longing and his desperation and his love. He poured it all into the kiss, accepting what Jared offered him in return. They kissed and kissed, Jensen's lips felt tender and swollen when he pulled back to look at Jared. The prince was wrecked, his red mouth open to suck in heavy breaths, his cheeks pink with desire and sweat slid down his neck. Jensen licked at the drops, followed them up to Jared's jaw and sucked gently. Jared craned his neck back and pushed it into Jensen's mouth, panted, ''Mark me up, Jensen.''

Jensen groaned, barely surpassed the urge to do just that, to suck a bruise onto Jared's throat and show the world that he was taken; that he belonged to  _ Jensen _ . 

''Not here,'' he rasped, dragging his lips lower, latching them to his favourite spot. Jared's collarbones were tantalizing, delicate lines that made Jensen's mouth water and he clamped his teeth down, remembering their first time together, the only time he got to do this. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the taste of Jared's skin, relished in the breathy moans he was letting out. Jensen bit all along the bone, sucked and marked both of Jared's collarbones. He stared down at his work and smirked, already drunk on the sight of his marks on Jared.

Sitting back up on his haunches, Jensen slowly disentangled Jared's belt, dropping it to the side. He dragged his hands up and down Jared's clothed chest, fisted them on the sides and gently lifted the material up. His eyes roamed the newly exposed skin with hunger, then lifted up to lock with Jared's. Jared's eyes were hazy, more green than brown in the dim light, enchanting Jensen.

''You're so beautiful,'' he whispered, kissing over Jared's heart. His hands resumed their task of undressing Jared as he mouthed along Jared's smooth belly, his tongue dipping into his navel making Jared writhe under him. Jared's thighs were next, Jensen teased them both with how agonizingly slow he pulled the pants down, licking and kissing at every inch he revealed. Jared was shaking, his skin hot and salty under Jensen's tongue, and Jensen closed his eyes as he closed his lips over a patch of skin just to the inside Jared's thigh, sucking at it leisurely.

''Jensen,'' Jared whimpered, his voice already raspy. ''Jensen, please hurry.''

Jensen kissed down his knee and shin, kissed over delicate ankle and then at the arch of his foot. Jared's breath hitched, shivers running through him with every peck Jensen touched to his foot, every toe. His heel then back up to his ankle. Placing the leg down, Jensen repeated his actions with the other, kissing from down up this time, until he reached Jared's thigh again. He mirrored the mark he left, and Jared's legs tightened around his head.

''Jensen, Jensen,'' he called, almost delirious. Jensen kissed his way up to the prominent hip bones, marked those with his lips and tongue, and finally he licked at Jared's hard cock. Jared arched off the bed, letting out a loud whine, Jensen threw his forearm over Jared's hips and held him down before he swallowed his length, taking it into his throat and making Jared let out a long moan.

Jared tasted like heaven on his tongue and Jensen closed his eyes and enjoyed the headiness of him, the shape of him in Jensen's mouth. How musky he smelled down there. Jensen let his cock out and Jared made a protesting sound. Jensen kissed the tip in apology and got out of the bed. Jared caught his wrist.

''Where are you going?'' he slurred, eyes wide. Jensen smiled at him.

''Just getting something to ease the way,''

Jared looked confused for a bit before his face flushed pink, up to his ears and Jensen couldn't resist. He leaned down and captured Jared's mouth in a deep kiss, licking inside to get at the sugary taste of him. Jared clung to his arm, making breaking away more difficult.

''I'll be right back,'' Jensen whispered between their lips. He kissed Jared once, twice before he pulled away with a groan.

''Hurry,'' Jared breathed.  

Jensen undressed as he made his way to the bathroom, leaving articles of clothes in his trail. He came back and crawled over Jared, both of them naked this time. They moaned at the feel of hot skin on skin; their cocks crammed together, and Jensen moved his hips in a snake like motion, sliding his cock against Jared and groaning at the feel. They kissed sloppily, the wet sounds of their lips and tongues filling the room, Jensen kept the slow thrust of his hips, feeling Jared's cock getting wet against his as more precome leaked from them both, making the friction easier.

Jensen moved back and arranged Jared's legs so they were open over his lap, giving him perfect view of Jared's pink hole, he pushed one of Jared's legs up and to the side, opening him up wider and Jared covered his face with both hands. Jensen's eyes followed his Adam's apple as he swallowed, his hands trembling.

''Look at me, my prince.''

Jared shook his head, his voice sweet as he mumbled. ''I'm embarrassed.''

''Love,'' Jensen called gently, ''look at me,''

Jared moved his hands away, his eyes were squeezed shut, cheeks burning up. Jensen leaned down and planted a soft kiss on his lips, then cheeks and nose. A firm kiss on his forehead then another on his lips. ''You weren't this shy the first time,'' he teased.

''My heart is hurting this time.'' Jared replied. Jensen's own heart thudded painfully against his rips.

''We can stop.''

At that Jared's eyes flew open, and both his hands came up to grab at Jensen's arms, pulling him down. ''Please don't.'' He sounded scared.

''What’s got you so afraid now?''

Jared's eyes darted between his. ''What if you decide to leave once this is over?''

The breath left him in a sharp gasp, his chest caving in as his heart nearly stopped. Just the thought of not being able to touch Jared again, just the ghost of the torture he put himself through made his eyes sting.

''Never, my prince. I shall be with you, until you order me away,'' he promised huskily and Jared's hand hooked behind his neck and pulled him down into another breathtaking kiss.

Jensen poured flower scented oil on his fingers, locked his lips with Jared’s as he massaged over his hole. He swallowed the gasp that left Jared as his finger slipped inside, and groaned into Jared when his walls clamped down. So hot and tight, Jensen's cock hardened painfully, and he kissed Jared harder to soothe both of them.  He opened Jared slowly, kissing him gently through it all until Jared was flushed and panting beneath him, three of Jensen's finger thrust inside of him and he arched up and moaned each time Jensen rubbed against that spot in him that made pleasure course through his body.

Once he was sure Jared was loose enough, he pulled his hand back, pouring more oil onto it and coating his aching cock with it. He wrapped Jared's legs around his waist, and Jared looped his arms over Jensen's shoulders locking them in place as Jensen pushed forward.

He closed his eye and grit his teeth, the feel of Jared was unreal, hot and wet. They fit so perfectly together, moving slow and sweet until Jensen was all the way in. He sneaked his arms under Jared's waist and shoulders and held him tight; Jared clinging back just as hard, their bodies lined up. Chest to chest, hearts beating in sync, their sweat mixing. Jensen hid his face in Jared's neck and fought the burn behind his lids.

''You're mine now.'' he said, his voice gone rugged with pent up emotion. Jared shook in his arms, letting out a sob.

''I am. I've been yours since the moment I fell and you caught me.''

Jensen felt Jared's tears on his cheek and he raised his head, licking them clean and kissing at Jared's lids. ''No more tears, my prince.''

''Just happy ones,'' Jared answered shakily and Jensen smiled at him.

Jensen kissed him again as he started to moved, almost all the way out before he thrust back in again. Jared's legs tightened around his waist, his nails digging into Jensen's back as Jensen rocked into him, slow and deep; their eyes never leaving each other.

They shared open-mouthed kisses and breathed each other's air, bodies moving like waves. Jensen pushed himself up on his forearms and fucked his hips faster, a little harder and Jared keened, throwing his head back on a choked moan. Their voices mingled together in a sweet melody, Jared's high pitched sounds with Jensen's deep groans; it was beautiful. They were beautiful together, like this. Just like this.

Jared's walls tightened around Jensen, his cock twitching where it was trapped between their bellies and Jensen knew he was close. He grazed his teeth over Jared's neck, mouthed over the supple round of his shoulder and bit down. Jared's whole body spasmed, his hold on Jensen turning too strong as he came, his release hot between them. Jensen fucked him through it, kissing him open mouthed and deep. Jared opened his eyes, held Jensen's own with his fiery gaze.

''Fill me up, mark me from the inside.'' Jensen's eyes fell shut and he groaned, his cock emptying into Jared's ass, painting his insides. Claiming him.

He collapsed onto Jared and they held on tight, sticky with their release and sweat but neither caring. Jensen lifted his head and attached his lips to Jared, kissing him slow and languid. Jared whimpered as Jensen's cock slipped out of him, come leaking onto his thigh. Jensen patted his side apologetically. He made to get up but Jared stopped him pulling him back so he was between his legs again, Jared's arms settling in a loose hold around Jensen's neck.

''I'm just getting a cloth to clean you up,'' Jensen explained.

Jared shook his head. ''I don't want to get clean just yet.'' He reached down and wrapped his fingers around Jensen's cock, giving it a tug. Jensen hissed at the feeling, too much after his orgasm but his cock still tired to harden. Jared pulled at it until the tip was touching his entrance, he canted his hips and the head of Jensen's cock slid inside. Jared moaned, his hand leaving Jensen's cock to grip his hip and force him all the way inside again.

Jensen stared down at him in wonder. Jared's face was contracted into an expression that was nearly pained, eyes squeezed shut and teeth gritted. His breathing sharp.

''You feel so good in me,'' he let out with a moan. ''Almost like you're a part of me, meant to always be there.''

Jensen groaned at the words, and Jared finally opened his eyes ''You won't let me feel empty again, right Jensen?''

''Never again, love. I promise.''

Jared lifted his chin and puckered his lips and Jensen complied, giving his the kiss that he asked for.

''Was I your first kiss?'' Jensen asked between slow brushes of lips. His cock was half hard now.

''Yes,'' Jared answered. Jensen pulled back and looked down at him. He pushed his hair away from his forehead and planted a kiss on the sweaty skin.

''But I wasn't your first,'' Jensen said.

''Yes and no.'' Jared answered ''There was a maid. She was older than me, I never kissed her. She offered to pleasure me with her mouth. It happened twice, then I...'' Jared blushed hard and Jensen thrust forward, hitting just right. Jared threw his head back and moaned.

''You fucked her,'' Jensen finished for him.

Jared nodded. ''You are my first, Jensen.''

''I don't care about being the first,'' Jensen panted, his hips picking up speed as his cock was fully hard again ''I only want to be your last. Your only.''

''I promise.''

They sealed it with a kiss.

***

Two days after they arrived in Ochar, Jared said his goodbye to Princess Sandra with a kiss on the back of her hand and a promise to visit again. Jensen bowed and they both settled on the back of their horses.

The return journey, Jensen estimated, would take less than half the time they needed to get to Ochar as they moved with just them. Their days were spent riding, and their nights passed with them asleep in each other's arms. It was like they were the only people in the world, alone they wandered through the green forests, paying no mind to cooling weather as they had each other's heat to fend off the cold.

Jensen both wanted to get home fast and dreaded the end of the road for this journey. His future with Jared was undetermined, no one could tell what would happen once they were under the king's eye again. So Jensen made the best of it, kissing Jared at every chance, holding him tight every night.

Tonight, they were lying together. Naked under the blanket, Jared was using Jensen's chest as a pillow as was his new habit and Jensen was letting him do whatever he wanted as was Jensen's new habit. Jensen's arm was around Jared, fingers tracing random patterns over Jared's shoulder, fingers of his other hand tangled with Jared's over his abdomen.

''My prince?'' Jared hummed, hand squeezing Jensen's. ''I don't want to go back.''

''Why?''

''I'm afraid that I shan't be able to protect you from whatever is waiting for you back home.'' Jensen confessed, feeling that familiar dread settling in his chest.

''What makes you think that?''

''I think you know, that whoever was behind the attack is likely to be...'' Jensen stopped, when he started this conversation he'd wanted to warn Jared but he couldn't bring himself to be the one to tell him something like this.

''One of my brothers.'' Jared finished for him. Jensen turned around and pulled Jared to him, hugging him tight.

''I'm sorry.''

''You think it's Gilbert, right?'' Jared whispered.

''I'm sorry.''

Jared nodded against his chest, inching closer. ''I trust you, Jen.''

''Jen?'' Jensen smiled. Jared pulled back to look at his face.

''I can't?'' he pouted. Got a kiss on those plump lips.

''You can do whatever you want.''

Jared bottom lip protruded more. ''You're insufferable.''

Jensen laughed and bowed his head.

****

King Jeffery hugged Jared as soon as he caught sight of him, leaving Jensen to stand awkwardly behind.  

''You're back earlier than I expected,'' the king said ''I'm glad, I had missed you so.''

The smile on the king's face turned into a horrified expression then to rage once Jared told him the story of their journey. Jared had diplomatically kept out the part about the conclusion the reached, only hinting at it subtly.

''I once again owe you, Sir Jensen.'' King Jeffery said.

Jensen bowed deeply ''It's my duty and honour to serve the prince and you, Your Majesty.''

''Lift your head, son. Tonight, you shall dine with us!'' The king announced. He then placed an arm on Jared's shoulder and led him away. Jared sent him a glance and slight smile over his shoulder before he turned his attention to his father.

The dinner was a grandiose affair, something Jensen expected needed more time to accomplish, but where Jared was concerned the king was nothing but persistent and the dinner was a welcome to the youngest prince and as such top priority.  

As per usual, Jensen felt out of place among the higher ranking nobles, having led a simple life. He stood at a corner, far away from the dancing and the music; his eyes darting over the crowd, seeking one person. He caught sight of Jared just as he slipped out of the hall and into one of the many hallways and without thinking Jensen legs moved to follow.

The hall was empty, silent safe for the soft music that drifted into it and Jensen hurried his steps in his pursue of the prince. He heard a voice; something like a cut off scream and he ran. Turning the corner, he came face to face with Jared struggling against another man who held a dagger and Jensen did not hesitate.

He unsheathed his sword and with one fluid motion, sliced the man who threatened Jared.

The man fell down, Jared screamed.

Jensen stared in horror as Jared's face lost colour. He caught him before he hit the ground, holding him close. He threw a glance to the fallen man, bile rising into his throat when he recognized him.

The crown prince laid dead before him.

A beat passed, Jensen rocked Jared back and forth. He slumped against the wall, cradling Jared in his lap. He felt a sense of calm washing over him, coming to the realization that this was it. The end. The threat to Jared was no more, and for that he would gladly pay the price.

Planting a kiss on Jared's temple, he brought him tighter to his chest, kissed the crown of his head.

''I had known that I would have to die to protect you from this, and I am glad it happened this way. So when you wake up next, hold no regrets, have no fear. Live on, my beloved prince.''

The sound of feet pounding over the rocky floor echoed through the hallway and Jensen buried his face into Jared's hair, inhaling deep.

He would never get to hold him again, never breathe in his scent or hear him laugh. But as long as Jared lived to laugh, Jensen was happy.

***

Jensen woke up to the smell of rot and mold.He opened his eyes carefully, blinking away the stars at their edges. The ceiling was high, a small window on the wall that was closed with iron bars, the floor under him was hard and cold, there was no sound. He vaguely remembered the guards pouring in from the hallways, forcing him away from Jared. The pain in the back of his head told him why he couldn't recall further than that.  

Slowly, he lifted himself up, groaning at the pain that spread all over his body; he must be battered all over. He grit his teeth and stood up; taking two steps to the small bare bed on the side and collapsing onto it, he sat with his legs in front of him, supporting his aching back on the wall. The little light that came from the hallway that connected the dungeons showed him the source of the stench. A decaying rat in one of the corners, maggots feasting on what was left of it. Jensen wondered if they'd leave him to share the rat's fate, or it they'd show mercy; sending him to his death with a swift swing of an axe.

The time stretched long, the night seemingly endless. Jensen sat motionless, the pain in his head subsiding little by little. A rattling sound made its way to his ears and he turned to face the bars. Perhaps they brought him a last meal.

''Jen!''

Jensen couldn't believe his eyes, standing in front of him was Jared, eyes puffy and red and his hair a mess. He got up so fast he nearly fell, but he was soon holding Jared from behind the bars, the iron digging into his chest.

''Wait,'' Jared said and disappeared and Jensen couldn't breath until Jared was back in his sight. Jared was followed by a guard who had the key in his hand and the moment the door was open Jensen was on Jared, crushing their lips together in a bruising kiss, tears springing into his eyes as Jared's hands cupped his face. Both not paying mind to sound of the lock shutting them in again.

''Why are you here?'' he breathed before he slotted their mouths again, unable to stop kissing Jared. God, he might be dead; this could easily be his heaven. Jared's heat seeped into him, warmed him up, Jared's scent washed over his senses blocking out anything else. The feel of him, alive and here and kissing him just as passionately was more than Jensen could ever wish for.

''I had to see you. Jensen, my father wants to execute you.'' Jared said urgently, taking a seat on the dirty bed. Jensen sat so he faced him, merely nodding at Jared.

''I told him what happened, he wasn't surprised. I think he knew when I told him what happened during the trip. You know what he said to me?'' Jared asked in a tone that Jensen never heard him use before. ''He said that he was grateful that you saved me again, but Gilbert's name must remain clean!''

''He wants to use me as convenient cover up. Blame all that happened on me,'' Jensen summed up.

''Just because at your rank you can be executed without a court!'' Jared shouted, tears of frustration in the corners of his eyes.

''It can't be helped. I do not regret it, my prince.''

Jared stared into his eyes hard. ''I know what a fool you are,'' he said at last ''but I refuse to submit to his unjust ways.''

''We can do nothing about it,''

''We can. I already have a plan. Edward knows, he gave me his word that he would testify in your favour if you got a court.'' Jensen opened his mouth to point out the fact that he had no right to a court but Jared went on ''You can get a court if you had a higher rank.''

''Only the king can grant me such title.''

''The guards told me they cannot keep my visit a secret, I told them to give me until sunrise. I asked them to bring my father here.''

''I don't understand,'' Jensen said.

''Marry me, Jensen.''

Jensen's heart skipped a beat, his breath hitched and he averted his eyes. ''I shan't marry you for this, Jared.  _ Never _ for this.''

''Then marry me because you want to; marry me for love, Jensen. For I've never loved like I love you and I never shall.''

Jensen nodded, tears forcing themselves out of his closed eyes as he kissed Jared with all the love in heart, with everything he had to offer. He framed Jared's face with both hands staring right into his eyes ''And I love you, more than you'll ever know, Jared.''

Jared's eyes watered and spilled over ''I have longed to hear you call my name.''

''Jared,'' Jensen said, feeling light. ''Jared, Jared. Jared, my beautiful Jared. I love you.'' They kissed again, their tears mixing. They had until sunrise, and Jensen wasn't hopeful, but if this was his last night on earth there was no better way to spend it.

Jared took a deep breath, handed Jensen a ring. Jensen stared at it for long but he understood. They both stood up at the same time, feeling the need to honour what was happening between them.

''Jensen wilt thou have me to be thy wedded husband, wilt thou love me, and honour me, keep me and guard me, in health and in sickness, as a husband should a husband, and forsaking all others on account of me, keep thee only unto me, so long as we both shall live?'' Jared asked, his eyes shining.

''I do,'' Jensen said a lump in his throat as he repeated, ''Jared wilt thou have me to be thy wedded husband, wilt thou love me, and honor me, keep me and guard me, in health and in sickness, as a husband should a husband, and forsaking all others on account of me, keep thee only unto me, so long as we both shall live?''

''I do.''

Jensen took Jared's hand in his and slid the ring onto his finer ''I give this ring in pledge of my love and devotion, with this ring I thee wed.''

Jared did the same, and they shared a kiss that resembled no other of theirs. It felt like the end to a phase, and the start of something where neither of them existed alone. This kiss signaled their union, confirmed their love. Felt like coming home after a long, tiring journey.

Jared pushed him back gently, and Jensen sat back on the bed, feet on the ground, head craned back to look at Jared. Jared handed him a small bottle and stepped back. Jensen could do nothing but stare as Jared stripped before him, revealing inch after inch of smooth skin. Once he was bare save for his shoes, he approached Jensen, helping him undress. They left Jensen's clothes under him to act as a barrier between their bare skin and the wood of the bed. Jared straddled him, instantly leaning down to smash their lips together.

Jensen wasted no time kissing him back, at the same time he coated his fingers with the oil. The smacking sounds of their kiss echoed in the small dungeon. Jensen felt filthy as one hand gripped an ass cheek and held it open, realizing the he was baring Jared's hole to anyone who might walk in. They were completely exposed, and despite the burning possessiveness in him, screaming at him to cover Jared up and keep him; a part of him was thrilled.  

He breached Jared with a finger, circling it inside and pushing it in and out, adding another immediately after. Jared keened, pushed back onto the intrusion, arms clinging to Jensen's neck.

''More Jensen, I'm ready.'' He whined into Jensen's neck, all breathy and desperate and Jensen couldn't deny him when he sounded like that. He pulled his fingers out, added more oil and entered him with three fingers this time. Jared moaned, rocking his hips backwards, seeking more. Jared asked him to hurry again, but this time Jensen didn't listen. He stretched Jared on three fingers, fucking into him with an angle he knew would turn Jared's bone to molten wax.  Jared writhed on his lap, sweat dripping down his neck and Jensen finally allowed his teeth to sink into the inviting curve on it. Leaving his marks where they could be seen and not caring one bit.

''Jensen, please. I need you now, please.'' Jared begged and Jensen kissed him. His fingers slipped out with an obscene wet sound that made him harder, and he hurriedly poured oil on his aching cock. Jared lifted himself up, hand reaching behind him to hold Jensen in place. Jensen's hands settled on Jared's hip, helped guide him down onto Jensen's hard cock.

They moaned together, the heat mounting between them, and Jared turned his head and licked into Jensen's mouth, needy and desperate. He didn't wait, using his thighs to start an up and down motion; fucking himself on Jensen's cock.

Jensen planted his feet firmly and thrust up, yanking Jared down with every upward push of his hips, the slap of skin on skin edging him to fuck faster; harder.

Jared mewled at a particularly well aimed thrust and Jensen canted his hips and fucked him at the same angle, nailing him right every time. Jared let out a stream of high pitched 'Ah, ah, ah'' and Jensen's name and slurred love confessions. He sounded almost drunk, moaning and begging for more, eyes shut tight like he was in pain, hands impossibly strong on Jensen's shoulders. He kept rocking over Jensen, repeating his name over and over again until his voice went hoarse.  

They panted against each other's mouths, too out of breath to kiss properly. Jared's eyes were on his, never leaving and he could see the moment tears formed and over flood, sliding down one after the other. ''I can't lose you,'' Jared sobbed ''I can't lose you. I can't, I can't,'' Jared chanted, it scared Jensen how genuine he sounded, how real his words were.

''Jared, calm down.'' Jared was far gone, he arched himself back; taking more of Jensen into him, whimpering over Jensen's mouth.

''I love you so much, Jensen. So much. I'll die, I'll die without you.'' Jensen kissed him, not knowing what else to do, his own tears cascaded down his cheeks and he could do nothing but cling to Jared and whisper the words back to him. He wrapped his hand around Jared's cock, tugging in tandem with their hips and Jared came with a muffled cry, kissing Jensen still. Jensen followed him, coming into the tight heat of Jared's body.

They held onto each other long after their breaths and hearts calmed down, Jensen inside of Jared and their mouths connected; as close as they could be without inhibiting the same body.

When the sun came up, they dressed and waited.

***

''We're married.''

It were the first thing said when the king appeared, looking for all the world like he was ready to sink his teeth into Jensen's throat and rip him apart.

''What is the meaning of this!'' he roared, his husky voice sounding even louder as it resonated in the space around them.

''It means he can ask for a court.'' Jared answer. He was shaking from head to toe, but he didn't leave his spot; he stood facing his father with his back to Jensen, physically protecting him. Jensen's chest was full of warmth and pride. This selfless, brave man was his.

''There shall be no court!''

''Then I shall die with him,'' Jared shouted back. Jensen's heart sank, horror filling him because he knew Jared. He knew he would do it.

''No.'' The word was Jensen's and everyone turned to look at him. ''Jared you can't say that.'' he stepped around Jared, ignoring every other person and stood facing him. His back to the king. ''Promise me you shan't. Give me your word, Jared.''

''No.''

''Jared!'' Jensen placed both hands on Jared's arms; shaking him ''Do you think it would make me happy? All I did, I did to keep you safe. Promise me.'' Jensen's eyes blurred with the promise of tears, and he didn't have it in himself to care. He fell to his knees, taking hold of Jared's hand with both of his, kissing his knuckles then pressing them to his forehead.

''Please, please.'' Jensen repeated. But all he saw when he looked up was Jared's puffy eyes raining down on him. Jared shook his head, his smile sad.

''I'll promise you anything, my love. But not this.''

Jensen closed his eyes and stayed where he was. King Jeffrey ordered him, and Jensen complied. Raised to his feet and faced the king.

''What would you have done if it was I who attacked him?'' the king asked, tilting his head to the side.

''I would have killed you, Your Majesty.'' Jensen said, knowing down to the bones that he would have. He would have killed anyone.

The king blinked at him then laughed, his head thrown back and his shoulders shaking. ''Someone had once said,'' he started, getting interrupted by his laugher, ''that you cannot win against fools.'' He pointed a finger at Jensen then at Jared. ''Both of you are fools.''

Jensen felt a thud against his back, warmth seeping into him and he smiled as Jared hid his face between his shoulder blades. 

''I cannot be heartless, not with someone who loves my boy this much, but Gilbert was my son and his death pains me. I shall not kill you, Sir Jensen.''

Jensen felt Jared's arms tighten around his waist, and he was thankful for the support as his legs grew weaker.

''You shall be exiled, never to set foot in the capital again. You may leave at dawn tomorrow.'' The king then turned to a guard and nodded at him and man stepped forward and opened the dungeon's door.

''Son?'' For the first time in Jensen's memory the king seemed hesitant. Jared planted a secret kiss on the back of Jensen's neck before he faced his father.

''I believe you know that I am leaving with him.''

King Jeffery nodded ''I merely hoped you would promise to visit me once in a while.''

''I'm sorry.''

Those were the last words exchanged. The king left, followed by all his guards and Jared tugged Jensen out.

The walk to Jared's quarters felt too short, and suddenly Jensen was standing in the extravagant room for the first and last time. Surrounded by servants who were packing their things. He sat on the bed and leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and covering his face with both hands. He felt the metal of his ring and pulled back, staring down at it in wonder. This night alone felt like a year.

''Are you certain this is what you want?'' Jensen lifted his eyes, making sure he had Jared's attention before he went on. ''I have a house in my home town and a farm, they send me what they reap every year. It's good living but nowhere near what you have here.''

''What are you saying?''

''You married me to save my life,'' Jensen said, finally giving voice the thought.

''And you agreed because you thought it wouldn't work.'' Jared was not asking.

Jensen nodded. ''I agreed because I love you.''

''You  _ are _ a fool,'' Jared breathed. He walked to him and kneeled down, placing himself between Jensen's legs ''How is it fair that you can marry me because you love me but I can't do the same? What do I have to do so you'd believe me?'' Jared's hands settled on either side of his face, so gentle as he pulled him closer. The next words were breathed over Jensen's lips. ''I'm coming with you. I'm sharing that house with you, I'll work in the farm myself if I have to, and I'll spend the rest of my life telling you every day that I do not, not for a moment, regret choosing you. I shall always choose you.''

Jensen surged down and kissed him, unbelieving that he could be so lucky. ''I love you so much,'' he said, holding Jared closer when the words were echoed back to him.

In the last two months of his life, Jensen had come nearer to death than before, more times than he cared to count. He traveled to a new land, visited places he hadn't seen in so long and he fell in love. Foolishly, irrevocably, with the most amazing person he'd ever met. His life had never been so eventful.

With Jared by his side, he knew that everyday would be worth living.

 

 

-End.  

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave me feedback! I'm [Nisaki](https://nisaki-chan.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, come say hi!


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